Hey Vessels, Happy New Year!
It was on my heart to leave you with a few words of encouragement... It was Necessary!
That's for me too... It . Was. NECESSARY. To be honest with you, a question that seems to have saturated my mind is " How am I struggling with something I thought that I had already overcome?"
Ok, so to back up a little I started a series titled "What's Real" if you want more info on that ( Click Here). Furthermore, while working on uploads for that I got in a rut. The thing is, You can't talk about something and not Experience it if you haven't already. So, I'm blogging about transparency and authenticity, and I messed up and prayed "Lord anything in me that I've hidden from you and from myself , REVEAL it to me... and work on me That I may be your willing vessel ready and available for your honorable use... "and honeeeeyyyy, let me tell you He's been doing just that...
Left and right it seemed like I was finding things out, and struggling with other things and I just found myself asking God and myself " How did I get here?" it felt as though I was going backwards and I was getting really discouraged and frustrated because I felt like I was ... let me rephrase that I feel like i am/ have been failing God. ( I have to keep it real ) I'm still struggling, I'm Still finding things out about me. and at times I still feel like I am displeasing God.
You always hear the phrase if you're not
progressing then you're regressing. if you're not growing then you're dying. I feel like we put so much pressure on how other people's journey should look, and well I honestly allowed those sayings to suffocate my mind/thoughts. I have been all over the place, and really distant from God, but in this season I've prayed more than ever, and I feel closer to Him than I've ever felt. I mean I be talking to God a lot! One day my lead at work walked up to me and was like 'what are you singing?' and i said " I'm not singing I'm praying". it gets REAL when I pray. Sometimes I laugh at myself when I pray because I have no filter, but being raw and real with God keeps me humble and allows me to really release it all to Him. It makes me aware of the fact that He knows but about whatever ' it' is; it also brings me peace to know that he not only knows but He loves me, He cares about me, He is with me, and He is willing to help me.
However, even though I pray so much, I
still feel distant at times because of the struggles that I'm dealing with. They don't please God and I know that, But I'm still struggling with it. As I said it gets real. But no one gets deliverance through a facade. We get our breakthrough when we GET REAL!.
Blessings to you and don't forget to #ReflectChrist