One morning I woke up with guilt and shame in my heart because of a scenario that played out in my head and kinda turned into a bad but pleasurable dream with the WRONG somebody. I didn’t want to wake up because though it wasn’t real, it felt pleasing to my flesh and my emotions. I also didn’t want to wake up to the fact that I had really been being blessed in my time with God lately, and these feelings from the dream  were not of grieving to God which made me sad. Consequently, I spent hours on the phone with family and scrolling social media.
I started my prayer time late in the day and even when I started I was super distracted. I kept stopping and starting and repenting. Even though I repented over and over, I still felt bad.  I kept messing up by thinking about it and avoiding time with the Lord. But, I finally put my phone on do not disturb and turned on my prayer time playlist.

I began to write in my prayer journal, and then verbally pray about that thing. I asked for forgiveness again, and this time I thanked the Lord for forgiving me and asked him to soothe my mind. Then, this song 'Communion'  came on...  I kept starting it over as I wrote in my prayer journal. After a while,  I ended up praying aloud because my hand was hurting from writing so much.  I felt lead to write the lyrics down. So I wrote and then I would stop and sing them aloud: "